FORT BEND COUNTY, Texas — You probably spend more waking hours with your coworkers than you do with your own family. That’s not a throwaway line: it’s the reason officials in the Fort Bend County District Attorney’s Office say you may be one of the first people to notice when something is wrong at home for someone you work with.
“You know your coworkers, you know your employees better than you think,” Johnny Wen, deputy chief of the office’s Domestic Violence Division, told a room of local employers at a recent panel on domestic violence in the workplace, hosted by District Attorney Brian Middleton’s office and moderated by Terri Stuart. “So look for those signs. Ask those questions, because you never know if your employee is just looking for you to say something.”
The panel included Wen, Domestic Violence Division Chief Sunni Mitchell and Protective Orders Prosecutor Taylor Hicks, all with the Fort Bend County DA’s Office. Here’s what they want you to know, whether you’re a manager, a coworker, or someone quietly wondering if what you’re seeing at break time has a name.
THE SIGNS ARE USUALLY QUIET
Forty to fifty new domestic violence cases come into the DA’s office in a typical week, Wen said, and by the time someone calls police, “it’s probably happened multiple times.” That means the person sitting near you may have been carrying this for a while, and may not be ready to say so out loud.
What the panel said to watch for:
- Constant check-ins. An employee who has to be on the phone with a partner every time they step away from their desk, or during every break, sometimes because they aren’t allowed a phone of their own and have to borrow one, or call from a home security camera just to prove where they are.
- Sudden, unexplained absences. Frequent calling in sick, especially with no clear pattern. It may be an injury, or a partner who doesn’t want them out of the house.
- A change in someone you thought you knew well. A normally reliable coworker who becomes distracted, withdrawn, or stops engaging. “Whatever’s going on at home is going to carry itself into work,” Mitchell said. “It doesn’t [stay separate].”
- Money that doesn’t add up. Financial control is one of the most common threads officials see, Hicks said: an employee who works but never seems to have access to their own paycheck.
IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU, HERE’S WHAT ACTUALLY HELPS
Officials said the moment an employee confides in you is a fragile one, and also a real opportunity. A few concrete things employers and coworkers can do:
- Take a protective order seriously. It’s built for your workplace, too. Hicks said her office will often list an employee’s workplace address directly in a protective order, with a restriction barring the abuser from the property. If that person shows up anyway, it’s an additional criminal violation, not just a policy problem.
- Loop in your front desk or security. Simple steps, like making sure a receptionist knows not to let a visitor near a specific employee unaccompanied, or keeping a photo on file at the front desk, have made a real difference, Mitchell said.
- Don’t wait for the second visit. If someone starts calling the office repeatedly asking for an employee, Wen said, that can be an early sign of stalking or escalation that often precedes an in-person appearance. A criminal trespass warning, filed with police in advance, means the next time that person shows up, they can be arrested immediately rather than just asked to leave.
- Preserve your security footage. Camera footage and cellphone records have been decisive in several recent cases, Wen said, including a 2024 murder case, but many systems overwrite recordings within 30 to 60 days. If something happens, save it fast.
WHY VICTIMS OFTEN DON’T COME FORWARD RIGHT AWAY
Officials were candid that most victims initially don’t want to move forward with prosecution, and asked employers not to read that as a sign nothing is wrong. Fear of retaliation, fear of losing a two-parent household, and what Mitchell called “the cycle of violence,” an abuser’s apology and promise to change, all keep people quiet, even when the danger is real.
To account for that, Mitchell said her prosecutors build every case as if the victim won’t testify. “We train the prosecutors to assume in every single case that they’re not going to cooperate,” she said. “So look at every other bit of evidence that you have and figure out whether you can make a case.”
IF YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE, OR YOU ARE THAT SOMEONE
The DA’s office takes walk-ins for protective orders with no appointment needed. Hicks said her division has handled roughly 200 walk-in requests in just the past two months. Emergency protective orders can be granted quickly through the courts and last 61 to 121 days; final protective orders, which Hicks’s office pursues directly, can last up to two years or longer in more serious cases, with a hearing guaranteed within 14 days of filing.
Officials also flagged three factors that, on their own, are treated as urgent red flags for escalating danger: a history of strangulation, a weapon introduced into the relationship, and a pattern of stalking. Any one of those, Mitchell said, triggers an immediate offer of shelter and resources through the Fort Bend Women’s Center.
The bottom line from the panel, more than once: you don’t have to be a detective. You just have to be willing to notice, and willing to ask.